A Summer Education

Remember how I was doing all these mommy school updates not too long ago? We were having so much fun jumping from letter to letter and crafting and coloring and repeating sounds. Well, we got to P in February - P was for penguin and pregnant. Emphasis on the pregnant part. It took a month to get through P and then I was so sick pretty much all the time that I lost my motivation to do anything but the basics (i.e. keep Ava alive). That's also when I kind of developed a TV addiction (and an aversion to meatballs).

So. Mommyschool, as it existed, stopped happening and I felt guilty about it for 5 seconds and then, guess what! I noticed that Ava was still learning, even though it wasn't structured and planned and crafty. She still wrote 5,000 Ps and we still read a bunch of books. She certainly didn't get dumber. So I stopped feeling guilty and we all survived winter in Michigan.

And then spring/summer finally hit and beach. Beach beach beach. And she learns lots of stuff at the beach: what a dead catfish looks like, what to do with the dead catfish, how to eat fruit snacks without eating sand, the proper sand-to-water ratio for building sand castles, etc. She's also learning just how big a belly with a baby in it can get. Although, she is still quite confused about what's in her belly. You see, since I have a baby in my belly that kicks that means she MUST have something in her belly that also kicks. Regard: the other night, she grabbed my hand and put it on her belly and said, "The Holy Ghost is kicking, mom! Can you feel it?" (We have gone over the Holy Ghost thing 5,000,000 times so I'm hoping she'll just grow out of that line of thinking.)

I will be vigilant about my child's beach education all summer and then preschool will start and I will have this baby and she will get all sorts of learned and educated. Heh heh. And she, in her usual Ava fashion, will wax philosophical about it all in the car.

slugs and snails and puppy dog tails

So we found out last Monday that we are having a BOY! We are still in shock. We just figured we'd follow the precedent of Danny's older brother and his wife and have a gaggle of girls. But no. Regard:

It was extra fun finding out because Danny's older brother was in town (really, in Chicago but we kidnapped him for 24 hours) so he went to the ultrasound with us. Let's just say, the reaction was a loud one. 

Ava was not excited about it. At all. She said, "but we can change it to a sister." We kept asking her if she was excited afterward and she would either say that she didn't like brothers or that she didn't want to talk about it. I got the chance to talk to her about it, just the two of us, that afternoon and I discovered that she thought that having a brother meant that she couldn't keep her friends that were girls. I set the record straight, we talked about all the ways she'll be able to help me with the baby, and now she is alllllll about her brother. 

Crisis averted. 

Now, as I prepare to garage sale most of the ruffle-bummed onesies and all the pink! I've been hoarding I realize I need to get serious about my boy name list. Feel free to throw out any suggestions. And no, we will not be naming him Daniel.

Happiness in my hugeness

I think it's easy, as a pregnant woman, to get caught up in all the negative aspects of offering your body up as an incubator for nine months. I have had plenty of un-funness so far this pregnancy (I love that my computer didn't even try to tell me that un-funness isn't a word. So glad it's getting to know me.) but  I don't really care. Now, if I were puking the entire nine months, that might be a different story. As it is, I'm still in a state of awe at what my body is doing. I am making a human being.

So while the ever-swelling belly may get in the way a lot, I feel privileged that I get to experience such a thing. Too many women don't. And the joy from feeling all these little popcorn kicks overshadows the annoyances. By a lot. Plus maternity jeans are sooooooo comfy.

Baby Number Two

Remember how I had PPD after I had Ava? No? Well, you can read about it here.

Thankfully, Heavenly Father totally slipped some forgetfulness into my morning smoothie like I was hoping he would. We are having baby number two at the end of September and I am SO! EXCITED!

It feels good to be excited about another baby. It's feels right.
As far as PPD goes, I'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Until then, I will spend the summer on the beach. Resembling a whale. I will be a beached whale. And it will be awesome.

Jungle Party

Ava turned 3 last week and she asked for a birthday party. I was pretty scared at first. She wanted to invite everyone she'd ever met and have a jungle cake. She decided only 6 friends was okay but she wouldn't budge on the jungle cake. She's a tough negotiator. 

It ended up being a good time. I made the dining room look like a jungle:

And got a lady in the ward to help me with the cake:

I planned out all the games and activities but they ended up taking 20 minutes less than I thought they would. That always happens, doesn't it? The kids didn't care though because, BALLOONS!

After pizza, it was cake time! The birthday girl was too shy to blow out the candles:

So I did it for her: 

Like I said, it was a good time and even the jungle trees were edible (candy clay):

I just had to put this shot in here because it may be the only time I ever get a shot of my husband crafting. What a guy.

Happy 3 years, Ava!

Happy Birthday, my lovely little girl

This one.

She is 3 today. I cannot believe my luck in getting to be her momma. 

Best three years of my life.

Holiday Confusion

Christmas with Ava is finally fun this year! YAY!

It was hard to explain to her at first. Because of Halloween, she thinks all holidays are about getting dressed up and asking for "canny" (candy). The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Ava, do you know what we celebrate on Christmas?
Ava: CANNY!! AND TRICK OR TREAT!!
Me: No, that's Halloween. On Christmas we celebrate Jesus.
Ava: JESUS!
Me: That's right, Christmas is Jesus' birthday!
Ava: JESUS CANNY!!!

It has taken a few more conversations, 2 nativity FHEs, lots of picture books, and "The Polar Express" movie (which is actually kind of creepy) but I think she has grasped the fact that we're celebrating the birth of Christ and getting stoked for Santa to come on Christmas.

I asked her what she wanted for Christmas from Santa Claus and she said, "BLUE!" .......So I'm working on that......

In the meantime, she has eradicated all feelings of grinchiness from our home, which is saying a lot because Danny lives here. (HEH HEH ZIIIIING!) She regularly sings Christmas songs that go something like, "CANNY CAAAAAANE!! CHRISIM TREEEEE!!!!! SNOWMAAAAAAAN! SANTA SANTA SANTA CLAUS!!!" Yeah, she says "Chrism" instead of "Christmas" and yesterday, trying to remember the proper pronunciation of the word, she called her ornaments "armpits" several times.

If you are feeling like a Grinch or a Scrooge this year? I will send Ava to your house for a day. She is like a little north pole elf, spreading her Christmas cheer and trying to get away with only eating from the four main food groups; candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. You won't be a scrooge when she gets done with you.

Blog, if you were a child, someone would have called the authorities by now

BLOG!

HOW NEGLECTED ARE YOOOOOOU??????

So so sorry, blog. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Life just happened, man. It just happened. And then, here I am, 18274 months since my last post feeling like my 3 followers and random passersby in Germany and Australia HATE me because I forgot about you.

Mayhaps this will make all the things better. A use for my crown and a fabulous progression of my daughter's super expressive face.

Observe:

 "Ava, do a really really big smile!"

Mommyschool

I have a friend who is blogging about doing Mommy Preschool with her little girl, who is 6 weeks younger than Ava. I made the mistake of reading about all their educational fun last week, after the makeup and glitter incident. I just cried while I read it. I felt like such a bad mom. I actually had thoughts of doing something like this with Ava this year but with house projects and teaching Let's Play Music, I just couldn't get my crap togetha.

So I cried. And had a pity party. I purged all the bad feelings.

And then we had General Conference and I started training for a 5K the next weekend. Magical things, I tell you. Endorphins! Coursing! Through ma veins! All the happy feelings! All the prioritizing! It all put me right. And I started planning.

Mommyschool kicked off this week with a reading of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and a making of a coconut tree in the play room that we will fill with all the letters in the alphabet as we learn them. My friend did this with her kid and I thought it was awesome and then I started researching preschool stuff and realized that quite a few people do this. Guys. If the bandwagon involves Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, I am totally on it (we did the play in kindergarten. I haven't been the same since).

We also previewed the letter A this week because I needed to pick apples at the orchard and can some applesauce. We're doing it for realsies this week.

So we're doing a letter a week and we'll have one word that is secular in nature and one that is spiritual (a fabulous idea of Alisha's) for each letter. A is for apples and apostles - you get the idea. We'll also just do some fun little crafts that are more seasonally based (a lot of them coming from this blog) and a science experiment every Friday. Monthly, I'll be doing a busy bag, like these ones, for Ava. I cleaned out her toy room today and realized that I haven't updated her toy stash for over a year (no wonder she's bored!)

So that's the plan. We are going to rock this.

After the monkey soap

The monkey soap was cute. The next day, she used some watercolors and painted herself in the time it took me to unload the dishwasher. Apparently, when one paints their palms, arm, and mouth, they become a dinosaur. RAWR!

 

Again, with the cuteness.

But then, the next day at bed time, she decided that the vaporub would do a better job if it was smeared all over the wall.

At "nap time" the day after, she decided that her horsey was hungry and the only way to feed it was to squeeze an entire tube of toothpaste onto the floor and rub it in. And also, she was hungry so she sucked the rest of her (fluoride free!) toothpaste out of the tube. Saturday it was more vaporub (where is she getting this stuff?!) and Sunday it was fingernail polish (I caught that one before it got too out of hand. Although, she did get her big toes painted before I interrupted).

Danny and I were both a little surprised at how she was able to procure such messy substances - we thought we were putting them out of her reach.

At this point, I know you're all, Tiffany, clearly she is dropping her nap and putting her upstairs where there are messy things is not an option. Realize this and suck it up. Listen, I KNOW. But that doesn't change the fact that even if she isn't sleeping I need at least 30 Ava-free minutes a day to frolic or pluck my eyebrows or, heaven forbid, eat an entire York Peppermint Patty by MASELF. I explained to her over and over that she just needed some quiet time. "You don't have to nap if you don't want to. Just play quietly for a little while."

I decided that we needed those doorknob thingies. You know? Those plastic things you put over doorknobs to make it impossible for kids (and most adults) to escape that particular room? Yeah. First thing on Monday morning, we went to the store and bought them. I was so excited to have some peace. It is hard, on everyone involved, to go from 2-3 hours of nap time to no nap at all in a matter of a couple weeks.

I slapped those suckers on the inside of her room and the outside of the bathroom and my bedroom.

45 minutes later she stood at the top of the stairs and asked, "Mommy? I come down now?"

Wha? How? "Yeah! Come down!"

Her face was covered in glitter and blue eye shadow and lipstick. HO LEE. HEAD FOR THE HILLS, KID!!! RUN!!!! And run she did. Smart girl.

Crap. All. Over. Ma bedroom. Our bedding and matress was soaked, just makeup everywhere, and the doorknob covers were in two pieces, strewn about the room. The craziest part about all of this was that I had been intently listening for mutinous noises and I didn't hear any. She is a sneaky little monkey.

Many tears and phone calls, a quick roadtrip, and a bout with a virus later, I realized that my kid is bored. She is so bored. She is done napping and she needs more! Stimulation!

So. That's what she's going to get. Mommyschool. Annnnnd I'm sooooooo excited about it. And so are all the surfaces in my upstairs rooms.

Wherein you understand the origins of "monkey soap"....as much as a person can

It started with some innocent monkey soap one afternoon.

If you're friends with me on facebook, you've probably already heard this story. But. I am retelling it. Because it is awesome.

I put Ava down for a "nap" knowing that there was a 60% she would just sit in her room and play instead of actually taking a nap. I went outside to get some yard stuff done. 30 minutes later I came back inside and my toddler immediately came downstairs.
Looking like this:

With lots of soap in her hair (I like how the hair on the sides of her head is untouched - like a man experiencing male-pattern baldness). The conversation went like this:

Me: Did you put something in your hair?
Ava: Nope.
Me: What did you put in your hair?
Ava: Monkey soap.
Me: Is there a big mess upstairs?
Ava: Yup. I a monkey!




There was really no way I could drum up any anger in my soul. It was too weird and funny. I decided the best course of action was an interview for posterity. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I love the noise her hair makes when she pats it. Heh heh.

Child Labor at its best

It's only fair that she helps, right? I mean, she is the reason I'm canning applesauce in the first place. She loves it though. Even kissed the peeler.

The randomness of a 2 year old

I find things in the weirdest places these days.

A grout sponge in the bookcase. (I love that Breaking Dawn is next to Team of Rivals. Heh.)

Super safe potatoes.

Lasagna with a view.

An autoharp getting some extra protein.

She certainly keeps life interesting.

The Encore

Ava's first recital

Fathering

Feeling so loved. I have an amazing father who makes me feel all melty and loved and a husband who makes our daughter feel the same way. This life of ours is a good one.

The mommy chip diaries

Listen. I realize that I am not the neurotic parent (about most things) when at home in my cozy nest. But when in public, my mommy chip is activated and it is code red. In public, I have cat-like reflexes and eyes like an owl. I see everything (pretend I just turned my head all the way around). My eyes bore deep into your soul and I can tell whether you are friend or foe to my tiny human. I can tell if you are admiring or creepy. In short: in public, I am Jason Bourne turned Secret Service and Ava is POTUS.

I was talking to a salesperson in the paint section of Lowe's yesterday about how the paint+primer in one does not really work and she was telling me that when painting on plaster walls bla bla bla bla bla. Now, my subconscious wasn't being rude, it was just that the strange man grabbing my child's arm sounded an alarm in my head and I could hear nothing else.

Ava insisted that I pushed around one of those HUGE carts that looks like a car and has a steering wheel and whatnot so tiny humans can pretend that they are running the show (sidenote: the tiny humans TOTALLY RUN THE SHOW but we can't let them know that). Anyhoodle, as I was talking to the paint lady, Ava decided to readjust herself. I know people get really jumpy when kids pull shenanigans in shopping carts but Ava wasn't even standing up. She was just wiggling around in the cart. I was maybe 3 inches away from her and I had my hands ready to spring into action if need be.

So you can imagine my surprise when Ava started wiggling and a strange man walking by grabbed her arm and just stood there. I looked at him questioningly (let's be honest....it was more of a "why the crap are you touching my kid?" look) and he said, "I didn't want her to fall." Now, I have had people try to save Ava from the cement floor of a warehouse store before (she loves shopping cart gymnastics, always has, especially when I am trying to put something heavy into the cart). I was always very grateful for those people who could see I was overwhelmed with all the construction supplies and the wiggly 18 month old. But. Ava is 2 1/2 now, very strong, and very agile, and she wasn't even close to danger. NO ONE around us felt the need to grab her, including me, HER MOTHER, because she was still sitting in the cart on her bum. And really? The guy totally creeped me out but then he grabbed my kid for no reason and that increased his creepiness by a power of 1000.

So I just grabbed her and said, "oh" and he walked away. The most annoying part of the whole interaction though was the saleslady that just stared at me like none of it had happened. I said, "I'm sorry, can you repeat what you said? It's hard for me to listen when strange men are touching my child." She just stood there. Staring at me. Finally, after I prompted her, she finished her thought about paint rollers and plaster walls.

Lessons to be learned from all of this?
1) Never let your kid talk you into the car shopping cart. That thing has the turning radius of a limobus.
2) Mommy chips are not to be messed with and neither is my kid SO TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER AND BACK AWAY BEFORE I CUT YOU WITH THIS PUTTY KNIFE.
3) That paint saleslady was really a robot, incapable of appropriate social reaction and emotion. *beep beep. you will always have to do two coats of paint on plaster walls. beep beep. oil is my blood.*

Arts and crafts with a 2 year old

Ava got bored painting the paper and decided painting herself into a dinosaur was a better idea. I agree.



 playdough pie, anyone?

The babes.

Can we just talk about this one curl that is always springing off Ava's forehead?

I just love her hair. And then with the yummy cheeks and soft skin and the big eyes? GUH. She is delicious.

the babes

So here's a list of current cute Ava things so that I can say that I remember her childhood:
- Ava always reminds us to pray. Always.
- She potty trained herself some weeks ago. When she has to go potty she just starts stripping off her clothes and saying "yucky yucky" - doesn't matter if we're at home or Ace Hardware. I think it's hilarious but I have to be all serious and remind her about modesty or something, right? Whatevs.
- If I ask her to do something she really doesn't want to do she sigh-growls (just like a teenager), slumps her shoulders, and does the absolute minimum of what I asked..........really.
- She still has the cutest blond curls.
- Potty training has suddenly brought on an independent streak so now she wants to do everything herself. She's all, "I can make these scrambled eggs completely by myself, mom. Now hand my the spatula and get out of here."
- Her toilet mounting form is awesome.
- Everything can be categorized as a "mommy" or a "baby". Mostly it's just how she differentiates between big and small but she tells me I'm wrong every time I point this out to her.
- Hand her your iphone - she totally knows how to work it and how to find her favorite apps.
- She's still a big fan of the group hug and can frequently be caught singing at the top of her lungs and dancing around.

Last night, after we put her to bed, Danny went into the kitchen and happened to notice that she had knocked a half-full gallon of paint over onto our wood floor. So glad we discovered that last night and not in the morning because I probably would have sobbed or broke things. She always keeps life interesting, even when she's asleep.