IKEA is my personal hell

Went to IKEA yesterday.

It was all, “heeeeeey, remember that thing you took the time to pick out online because you’re a really indecisive person and options paralyze you? Yeah…….we’re out of stock of that thing. We know your computer said we had it in stock but we don’t. BUT HERE ARE 15 OTHER OPTIONS IN YOUR PRICE RANGE THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY LIKE. And if you try to go buy this thing at another store it will probably be more/too expensive or not as cute or a combination of the two so just get it here. We know this will cause you to change your mind no less than 5 times therefore making you have to snake your way back and forth from throw pillows to duvet covers 5 times as well so here! Here are delicious Swedish chocolate bars EVERYWHERE (3 for $2.49)! And meatballs! And lingonberry preserves! Because we want to make up for it. And because we know your blood sugar is mighty low at this point and your baby is probably grouchy so you’ll be rash and buy them. Ooooo! But don’t get in that checkout line. It’s for ten items or fewer. You have 12. We realize there is literally NO ONE in line behind you or in front of you but please go to the other checkout line and wait behind the guy that’s here from Missouri buying $4000.00 worth of stuff for his business. And while you’re waiting try not to smell the delicious cinnamon buns we have cooking by the exit. We know you can’t eat them. We’ll see you soon because we know that, even with all of this crap, you cannot resist us! And we have a sofa you want! OKAYTHANKSBYE!!!”

Those pearly gates better not have giant IKEA flags attached to them.

Oh. And go check out Rebecca's blog to see what's up my sleeves for Thanksgiving. She's having a whole month of Celebration Preparation so if you want to try something new for the holiday season that is rapidly approaching us, CLICK ON THE LIIIIINK. And read.

Week 2

Miles walked: 7.5
Pounds lost: .....gettin' that scale today...

Because you can't really get enough Darcy, can you?

Listen. I am not one of those Jane Austen lovers who has read all the spin-offs. I read one by Shannon Hale called Austenland that was pretty decent (in a please-pass-the-ghirardelli, guilty pleasure sort of way) but once you read one, haven't you read them all? I don't see how these spin-off novels can wind up being anything but paltry and predictable. I eye them suspiciously.

Fast forward to today.

We got Netflix this week and for two people who have watched only what we can capture via antenna on our tv since we got married?? Netflix is like Christmas. Danny pointed out today, and I think he's right, that I probably like having all the options of things to watch more than I actually like watching them. Nevertheless, I happened upon a Jane Austen spin-off MOVIE and I thought I'd give it a try, if only because it was put out by the BBC. Turns out it was fabulous. There were still some cheesy parts, but it was so fun to see *spoiler alert* Bingley as a drunk, Mr. Collins married to Jane, Georgiana as a wicked girl, and Wickham as a very noble man indeed. Not to mention the way the movie looked at these often-dreamt-about characters as simple humans instead of characters.

Lost in Austen

Watch it.

Week 1

Miles: 7.5
Pounds lost: still need to invest in a scale. Let's saaaaaaay 2 pounds. For my self-esteem.

Lu-huving the daily exercise. Makes a momma happy and productive.

Because fat clothes are depressing

Hello.

I am starting a new exercise/diet regime. I shouldn't say diet because that implies pre-made dinners, juice cleansing, or magic pills. When I say 'diet' I mean that I am seriously cutting out the crap in my diet (most of it, anyway). This really won't be much of a problem because I am gluten-free so that cuts out 95% of the junk.

The exercise? That part will be interesting. I will have to battle the feelings/reasons I have avoided anything super athletic my entire life. Contrary to popular belief, I have a certain amount of athleticism but because I have steered clear of sports and opted for music most of my life I just don't have the skills others have. Sports made me uncomfortable when I was younger. I was self-conscious of my body (for real) because I was taller than everyone else and had feet and arms and legs comparable to those of an orangutan. I felt awkward in my own skin. And then I got a little pudgy and it just got worse. And sports hurt. I thought I was just a wimp. Fast forward to high school when I got 2 stress fractures in my feet during "Singin' in the Rain" and I had to get all these x-rays done. Turns out the bones in my feet didn't form correctly in THE WOMB. Tarsal coalition, it's called. This combined with my ridiculously high arches and gnarly foot circulation equals LOTS OF PAIN WHEN I DO NORMAL THINGS EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO WITHOUT PAIN. It all started to make so much sense..... the hatred of running, not wanting to jump out of the swing while it was still going at recess, etc. IT WAS BECAUSE I AM DEFORMED. There is nothing really that can be done about it, I just have to work with what I have. I have been advised (several times) to stay off of treadmills and told that I shouldn't run. Low impact/no impact exercise is where it is at. It puts the lotion on the skin.

So.

That really puts a damper on what I can do to lose the baby weight clinging tight to my hips. It would be ideal to just go outside and run a mile or two but alas, this causes much pain. Yoga? Pilates? Ideal for one workout. But then my body is all "I'm a cripple, remember? Stop trying to be Madonna and quit with the down-ward facing dog thankyouverymuch. Ouch." Swimming? Perfect. Always. But I don't have a pool and I'm not paying the local YMCA $38.00/month to use theirs. So I think I'll just have to power walk. This will still be uncomfortable but it's better than nothing. Ava will enjoy this too.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I need to have some sort of accountability. Danny is gone too much and I have too little willpower to police myself. So. I turn to you, snoop bloggy blog.

I will be documenting the miles walked and the pounds shed. That is all.

Crossing my fingers....

the shiny apple of my eye

My dearest little monster,

Tomorrow you will be 8 months old. I really cannot believe this. While I am so happy you're growing big and strong I also wish I could press pause on your gummy smile and tongue-rolling babbling. Eight months and one day ago I was a huge, waddling pregnant woman who came and went as she pleased. Now I spend my days with you and you are literally my world.

You love to go 'sploring (exploring). You're really good at finding things you shouldn't play with and putting them in your mouth.

You've been crawling for over a month now but you seem like you're ready to start walking. You walk around holding onto furniture as much as possible and you get mad when you have to get down and crawl.

You decided that you don't like baby food tonight. You kept spitting it all over me after days of wanting to just eat off my plate at dinner. So I squished up some of my food. You ate it but only when I let you feed to yourself. It was tres messy.

You always have a smile ready for me. When I bend down to pick you up you get really excited and kick your legs and flap your arms like a little bird. Every time. I think you might love me almost as much as I love you.

We went to the doctor today and you weighed only 17 pounds but you were 27 1/2 inches long. You are so strong. Everything about you is strong. And aware. Sooooo aware. And so incredibly happy.











You and me kid, we can take on the world.

Tongue rolling at the park

Aww. Nature and babies. So sweet together.





AND THEN BABY DESTROYS NATURE.



Buttons: I'm 16 years old. That's like 112 in dog years. I'm not going near that baby.
Ava: He's kind of cute and furry but he might be dirty. I'm not touching that thing.