Monday, September 27, 2010

Because fat clothes are depressing


I am starting a new exercise/diet regime. I shouldn't say diet because that implies pre-made dinners, juice cleansing, or magic pills. When I say 'diet' I mean that I am seriously cutting out the crap in my diet (most of it, anyway). This really won't be much of a problem because I am gluten-free so that cuts out 95% of the junk.

The exercise? That part will be interesting. I will have to battle the feelings/reasons I have avoided anything super athletic my entire life. Contrary to popular belief, I have a certain amount of athleticism but because I have steered clear of sports and opted for music most of my life I just don't have the skills others have. Sports made me uncomfortable when I was younger. I was self-conscious of my body (for real) because I was taller than everyone else and had feet and arms and legs comparable to those of an orangutan. I felt awkward in my own skin. And then I got a little pudgy and it just got worse. And sports hurt. I thought I was just a wimp. Fast forward to high school when I got 2 stress fractures in my feet during "Singin' in the Rain" and I had to get all these x-rays done. Turns out the bones in my feet didn't form correctly in THE WOMB. Tarsal coalition, it's called. This combined with my ridiculously high arches and gnarly foot circulation equals LOTS OF PAIN WHEN I DO NORMAL THINGS EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO WITHOUT PAIN. It all started to make so much sense..... the hatred of running, not wanting to jump out of the swing while it was still going at recess, etc. IT WAS BECAUSE I AM DEFORMED. There is nothing really that can be done about it, I just have to work with what I have. I have been advised (several times) to stay off of treadmills and told that I shouldn't run. Low impact/no impact exercise is where it is at. It puts the lotion on the skin.


That really puts a damper on what I can do to lose the baby weight clinging tight to my hips. It would be ideal to just go outside and run a mile or two but alas, this causes much pain. Yoga? Pilates? Ideal for one workout. But then my body is all "I'm a cripple, remember? Stop trying to be Madonna and quit with the down-ward facing dog thankyouverymuch. Ouch." Swimming? Perfect. Always. But I don't have a pool and I'm not paying the local YMCA $38.00/month to use theirs. So I think I'll just have to power walk. This will still be uncomfortable but it's better than nothing. Ava will enjoy this too.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I need to have some sort of accountability. Danny is gone too much and I have too little willpower to police myself. So. I turn to you, snoop bloggy blog.

I will be documenting the miles walked and the pounds shed. That is all.

Crossing my fingers....

Thursday, September 23, 2010

the shiny apple of my eye

My dearest little monster,

Tomorrow you will be 8 months old. I really cannot believe this. While I am so happy you're growing big and strong I also wish I could press pause on your gummy smile and tongue-rolling babbling. Eight months and one day ago I was a huge, waddling pregnant woman who came and went as she pleased. Now I spend my days with you and you are literally my world.

You love to go 'sploring (exploring). You're really good at finding things you shouldn't play with and putting them in your mouth.

You've been crawling for over a month now but you seem like you're ready to start walking. You walk around holding onto furniture as much as possible and you get mad when you have to get down and crawl.

You decided that you don't like baby food tonight. You kept spitting it all over me after days of wanting to just eat off my plate at dinner. So I squished up some of my food. You ate it but only when I let you feed to yourself. It was tres messy.

You always have a smile ready for me. When I bend down to pick you up you get really excited and kick your legs and flap your arms like a little bird. Every time. I think you might love me almost as much as I love you.

We went to the doctor today and you weighed only 17 pounds but you were 27 1/2 inches long. You are so strong. Everything about you is strong. And aware. Sooooo aware. And so incredibly happy.

You and me kid, we can take on the world.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tongue rolling at the park

Aww. Nature and babies. So sweet together.


Buttons: I'm 16 years old. That's like 112 in dog years. I'm not going near that baby.
Ava: He's kind of cute and furry but he might be dirty. I'm not touching that thing.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The amazing grazing baby.

So Ava decided that crawling is for babies. She has other things she needs to do and she cannot accomplish them effectively while crawling. So in an effort to speed her mastery of walking she is practicing standing. Yesterday she stood up all by herself in the middle of the room (aided by the toy bin), let go of the toy bin and stood for a good 20 seconds. She is constantly practicing this. She's doing it right now. So I probably don't need to start a crazy intense workout regimen because Ava will be walking soon. That'll be all the workout I need.

Haha. She also sounds like she hails from an African tongue-clicking tribe. I know all babies do this but it's just so fun when you get to see your own baby discover all the things they can do. She's almost as excited about it as I am.

I love being her mom.

Except for the part where I have to constantly fish things out of her mouth.