Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Sooo. A is for apples and Adam. B is for butterflies (and glue apparently) and baptism. Annnnnd colored vinegar and a pan full of baking soda is for fun.

I have also learned a lot about Ava. She loves learning, sensory bins keep her attention for 15 minutes tops, and she goes through activities rather quickly. We are definitely having fun!

Friday, October 12, 2012


I have a friend who is blogging about doing Mommy Preschool with her little girl, who is 6 weeks younger than Ava. I made the mistake of reading about all their educational fun last week, after the makeup and glitter incident. I just cried while I read it. I felt like such a bad mom. I actually had thoughts of doing something like this with Ava this year but with house projects and teaching Let's Play Music, I just couldn't get my crap togetha.

So I cried. And had a pity party. I purged all the bad feelings.

And then we had General Conference and I started training for a 5K the next weekend. Magical things, I tell you. Endorphins! Coursing! Through ma veins! All the happy feelings! All the prioritizing! It all put me right. And I started planning.

Mommyschool kicked off this week with a reading of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and a making of a coconut tree in the play room that we will fill with all the letters in the alphabet as we learn them. My friend did this with her kid and I thought it was awesome and then I started researching preschool stuff and realized that quite a few people do this. Guys. If the bandwagon involves Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, I am totally on it (we did the play in kindergarten. I haven't been the same since).

We also previewed the letter A this week because I needed to pick apples at the orchard and can some applesauce. We're doing it for realsies this week.

So we're doing a letter a week and we'll have one word that is secular in nature and one that is spiritual (a fabulous idea of Alisha's) for each letter. A is for apples and apostles - you get the idea. We'll also just do some fun little crafts that are more seasonally based (a lot of them coming from this blog) and a science experiment every Friday. Monthly, I'll be doing a busy bag, like these ones, for Ava. I cleaned out her toy room today and realized that I haven't updated her toy stash for over a year (no wonder she's bored!)

So that's the plan. We are going to rock this.

After the monkey soap

The monkey soap was cute. The next day, she used some watercolors and painted herself in the time it took me to unload the dishwasher. Apparently, when one paints their palms, arm, and mouth, they become a dinosaur. RAWR!

Again, with the cuteness.

But then, the next day at bed time, she decided that the vaporub would do a better job if it was smeared all over the wall.

At "nap time" the day after, she decided that her horsey was hungry and the only way to feed it was to squeeze an entire tube of toothpaste onto the floor and rub it in. And also, she was hungry so she sucked the rest of her (fluoride free!) toothpaste out of the tube. Saturday it was more vaporub (where is she getting this stuff?!) and Sunday it was fingernail polish (I caught that one before it got too out of hand. Although, she did get her big toes painted before I interrupted).

Danny and I were both a little surprised at how she was able to procure such messy substances - we thought we were putting them out of her reach.

At this point, I know you're all, Tiffany, clearly she is dropping her nap and putting her upstairs where there are messy things is not an option. Realize this and suck it up. Listen, I KNOW. But that doesn't change the fact that even if she isn't sleeping I need at least 30 Ava-free minutes a day to frolic or pluck my eyebrows or, heaven forbid, eat an entire York Peppermint Patty by MASELF. I explained to her over and over that she just needed some quiet time. "You don't have to nap if you don't want to. Just play quietly for a little while."

I decided that we needed those doorknob thingies. You know? Those plastic things you put over doorknobs to make it impossible for kids (and most adults) to escape that particular room? Yeah. First thing on Monday morning, we went to the store and bought them. I was so excited to have some peace. It is hard, on everyone involved, to go from 2-3 hours of nap time to no nap at all in a matter of a couple weeks.

I slapped those suckers on the inside of her room and the outside of the bathroom and my bedroom.

45 minutes later she stood at the top of the stairs and asked, "Mommy? I come down now?"

Wha? How? "Yeah! Come down!"

Her face was covered in glitter and blue eye shadow and lipstick. HO LEE. HEAD FOR THE HILLS, KID!!! RUN!!!! And run she did. Smart girl.

Crap. All. Over. Ma bedroom. Our bedding and matress was soaked, just makeup everywhere, and the doorknob covers were in two pieces, strewn about the room. The craziest part about all of this was that I had been intently listening for mutinous noises and I didn't hear any. She is a sneaky little monkey.

Many tears and phone calls, a quick roadtrip, and a bout with a virus later, I realized that my kid is bored. She is so bored. She is done napping and she needs more! Stimulation!

So. That's what she's going to get. Mommyschool. Annnnnd I'm sooooooo excited about it. And so are all the surfaces in my upstairs rooms.

Wherein you understand the origins of "monkey soap" much as a person can

It started with some innocent monkey soap one afternoon.

If you're friends with me on facebook, you've probably already heard this story. But. I am retelling it. Because it is awesome.

I put Ava down for a "nap" knowing that there was a 60% she would just sit in her room and play instead of actually taking a nap. I went outside to get some yard stuff done. 30 minutes later I came back inside and my toddler immediately came downstairs.
Looking like this:

With lots of soap in her hair (I like how the hair on the sides of her head is untouched - like a man experiencing male-pattern baldness). The conversation went like this:

Me: Did you put something in your hair?
Ava: Nope.
Me: What did you put in your hair?
Ava: Monkey soap.
Me: Is there a big mess upstairs?
Ava: Yup. I a monkey!

There was really no way I could drum up any anger in my soul. It was too weird and funny. I decided the best course of action was an interview for posterity. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I love the noise her hair makes when she pats it. Heh heh.

Child Labor at its best

It's only fair that she helps, right? I mean, she is the reason I'm canning applesauce in the first place. She loves it though. Even kissed the peeler.