Friday, March 9, 2012


So my email account was hacked again last week and I decided that it was way past time to switch things over to gmail. Ya know, get with the times and all that.

It was a really annoying process because hotmail and gmail don't like to do business. I had to do everything manually and guys? It was so hard. So much clicking and forwarding. It was seriously such a trial. But I slogged through it and I was able to get the job done and I feel like it made me a better person.

In this whole process I discovered that most of the old emails were from my best friend while she was on her mission in Croatia (there's no point in trying to hide the fact that we are sinners). Anyhoodle, I ran across this absolute gem that had me laughing pretty hard.

She wrote this to me before I left for a trip to China that would include a visit to Hong Kong. Since her parents and younger brother lived in Hong Kong we planned to visit them while we were there. Lauren, the Bonny to my Clyde, wanted to make sure that my visit with her parents was a productive one. She sent me the following email:

"oh yeah. and you have one major mission i need you to fulfill. and it is the following. when you're with my family, teach michael to say "zinngggg!" everytime my dad is insulted! whether mike does the insulting, or someone else, i just want to hear the zing! i'm trying to teach him annoying habits from far far away, just to keep my presence known in the household. thanks! also, i think the best way to teach these things is by example. from you and shannon both would probably be most effective :) k love ya!"

Let's just say that the mission was extremely successful but they all knew that it was Lauren's bidding I was doing. To this day, Mike still thanks Lauren or me for teaching him to zing. 


Sunday, March 4, 2012

still a pretty, pretty princess. and still awesome.

Me, circa 1991-92:
Me, circa 2012:


Oy. This is My Life.

Ava and I took a trip to Utah last week. We left on Thursday morning.

The following ensued (law and order CHUNG CHUNG).

Danny's boss invited us to go the Lyric Opera in Chicago the night before Ava and I left. So between drive time and the time zone change, we got home at about 1:30 am (WORTH IT. The Opera was fantastic.). I got up at 5:00 am to make sure we would have AMPLE time to make it to my leedle frien's house, switch all the luggage out of my car and into hers, and make it to the Indianapolis Airport for our 12:30 boarding time. If you know me you know that leaving myself extra time to do anything is soooooo not me. I'm a last minute/always late kind of girl (and for the record? that drives me nuts about myself. I succeed 50% of the time when I try to make improvements in this area).

We left the house a little later than I wanted but we still had time in what I will call our "buffer window" so I wasn't too stressed.

Well. The fog was pretty bad. Schools were delayed and road signs were hard to read. So, naturally, I missed my exit but I didn't notice until I started seeing signs for a city 90 degrees in a different direction than I needed to be going. Sleep deprived panic ensued as I calculated the 40 minutes out of my way I had just driven.

I turned around and made it back to the road on which I was supposed to be traveling. Another thing about me? I kiiiind of speed sometimes. I think I was going about 75 in a 60. I didn't think about the stupidity of going 15 over the speed limit on a country highway until the highway patrolman was barreling across the median to pull me over.

Guys. Don't worry. Between the crying and the extremely legit reason I had for speeding I was able to get off with a warning. Annnnnnd I may have hyperventilated while he was writing his love note to me.

Just shy of my friend's house Ava had the biggest meltdown of her life because I couldn't find her binky. Like, she was halfway out of car seat and screaming so hard I thought she was going to hurt herself kind of tantrum. We got to the airport in just enough time. They even opened up a new security line for me (ummmm but how much of a hot mess do you have to be for an Indiana Highway Patrolman to let you off and the TSA to open a new line for you? Guys. It was seriously pathetic).

I was done with this day.

But then. a guy about the same age as my dad took pity on me as I was trying to coax my 2 year old down the aisle to board the airplane while carrying 3 bags, a suitcase, and a car seat. He literally just took everything out of my hands and asked what seat I was in. And then when we landed? He waited for everyone to get off the plane and then he came back and grabbed all my stuff to carry off the plane for me. And then I turned on my phone to see that my best friend, who lives in Utah, was in labor with her first baby.

And suddenly the crappiest day ever became a really awesome day.