Monday, September 27, 2010

Because fat clothes are depressing


I am starting a new exercise/diet regime. I shouldn't say diet because that implies pre-made dinners, juice cleansing, or magic pills. When I say 'diet' I mean that I am seriously cutting out the crap in my diet (most of it, anyway). This really won't be much of a problem because I am gluten-free so that cuts out 95% of the junk.

The exercise? That part will be interesting. I will have to battle the feelings/reasons I have avoided anything super athletic my entire life. Contrary to popular belief, I have a certain amount of athleticism but because I have steered clear of sports and opted for music most of my life I just don't have the skills others have. Sports made me uncomfortable when I was younger. I was self-conscious of my body (for real) because I was taller than everyone else and had feet and arms and legs comparable to those of an orangutan. I felt awkward in my own skin. And then I got a little pudgy and it just got worse. And sports hurt. I thought I was just a wimp. Fast forward to high school when I got 2 stress fractures in my feet during "Singin' in the Rain" and I had to get all these x-rays done. Turns out the bones in my feet didn't form correctly in THE WOMB. Tarsal coalition, it's called. This combined with my ridiculously high arches and gnarly foot circulation equals LOTS OF PAIN WHEN I DO NORMAL THINGS EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO WITHOUT PAIN. It all started to make so much sense..... the hatred of running, not wanting to jump out of the swing while it was still going at recess, etc. IT WAS BECAUSE I AM DEFORMED. There is nothing really that can be done about it, I just have to work with what I have. I have been advised (several times) to stay off of treadmills and told that I shouldn't run. Low impact/no impact exercise is where it is at. It puts the lotion on the skin.


That really puts a damper on what I can do to lose the baby weight clinging tight to my hips. It would be ideal to just go outside and run a mile or two but alas, this causes much pain. Yoga? Pilates? Ideal for one workout. But then my body is all "I'm a cripple, remember? Stop trying to be Madonna and quit with the down-ward facing dog thankyouverymuch. Ouch." Swimming? Perfect. Always. But I don't have a pool and I'm not paying the local YMCA $38.00/month to use theirs. So I think I'll just have to power walk. This will still be uncomfortable but it's better than nothing. Ava will enjoy this too.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I need to have some sort of accountability. Danny is gone too much and I have too little willpower to police myself. So. I turn to you, snoop bloggy blog.

I will be documenting the miles walked and the pounds shed. That is all.

Crossing my fingers....

1 comment:

  1. More power to you!! Losing the baby weight SUCKS. But it must be done...because, as you say, fat clothes are depressing. I want to be able to button my old jeans...