Monday, September 26, 2011

about my earlobes

When it comes to the really important things, my family has pretty good genetics. When it comes to stuff that doesn't matter a whole lot?? There is some ugly lurking in the DNA.

I have inherited most of the ugly. Because "the ugly" isn't that serious I kind of feel like I brat complaining but, come on. Hypothyroidism (read: slowest metabolism ever)? Check. Hypoglycemia? I'm borderline now - give me 10 years and it'll be a big old CHECK. Ridiculously high arches? Got 'em. Varicose veins? Since I was 14. Man hands and big feet? Watch me palm that basketball while I wear Danny's shoes. Huge earlobes? Ha. Like your Grandpa's. Arm flab? Yup. A dash of the crazies? DOUBLE CHECK. Strange heart palpitations (I forget their proper name)? Unfortunately, yes. IN-GROWN FREAKING TOENAILS?? Yeah. Got those too. Large rear end and thunder things? You couldn't have missed that. Awkward amount of overactive sweat glands? Ha. Yes. Strange flat spot on my head? Thanks, mom. A propensity for sharing too much information? ........oh wait. That's just me. No genetics involved there.

The earlobes are especially bad. I remember several times in school when I would just be minding my own business and someone would start playing with them. I had to get them pierced three times because no one could get the earrings even. Too much yardage, I guess. I know I could have gotten it sooooo much worse but let's be honest. I got the nickname "Zoobaby" in high school for a reason.

So I get a weird amount of glee when I turn on my hulu to catch up on my Project Runway and there. they. are. Earlobes like mine!!!!!! And to whom do they belong? Well, to the hippest, cutest, former-Miss-Universe-Contestant-turned-fashion-designer-that-every-girl-wants-to-be, ANYA, that's who!!

ANNNNNNNND. AND she has a huge earrings on.

Gah. I love this. Although, it won't keep me from ear plastic surgery when Danny becomes a bajillionaire.

Carry on.

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