Wednesday, October 13, 2010

IKEA is my personal hell

Went to IKEA yesterday.

It was all, “heeeeeey, remember that thing you took the time to pick out online because you’re a really indecisive person and options paralyze you? Yeah…….we’re out of stock of that thing. We know your computer said we had it in stock but we don’t. BUT HERE ARE 15 OTHER OPTIONS IN YOUR PRICE RANGE THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY LIKE. And if you try to go buy this thing at another store it will probably be more/too expensive or not as cute or a combination of the two so just get it here. We know this will cause you to change your mind no less than 5 times therefore making you have to snake your way back and forth from throw pillows to duvet covers 5 times as well so here! Here are delicious Swedish chocolate bars EVERYWHERE (3 for $2.49)! And meatballs! And lingonberry preserves! Because we want to make up for it. And because we know your blood sugar is mighty low at this point and your baby is probably grouchy so you’ll be rash and buy them. Ooooo! But don’t get in that checkout line. It’s for ten items or fewer. You have 12. We realize there is literally NO ONE in line behind you or in front of you but please go to the other checkout line and wait behind the guy that’s here from Missouri buying $4000.00 worth of stuff for his business. And while you’re waiting try not to smell the delicious cinnamon buns we have cooking by the exit. We know you can’t eat them. We’ll see you soon because we know that, even with all of this crap, you cannot resist us! And we have a sofa you want! OKAYTHANKSBYE!!!”

Those pearly gates better not have giant IKEA flags attached to them.

Oh. And go check out Rebecca's blog to see what's up my sleeves for Thanksgiving. She's having a whole month of Celebration Preparation so if you want to try something new for the holiday season that is rapidly approaching us, CLICK ON THE LIIIIINK. And read.

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