Monday, November 22, 2010

TMI Alert: The one where I use the words "seventy" and "brazilian" and I'm not talking about a seventy year-old Brazilian.

Some of you may have seen on my facebook that I had an unfortunate conversation this morning.

With a woman in her 70s at the YMCA.

Who was naked.

The status update about this event did not provide enough healing to my soul, so I must blog about it.

The weather has been real crazy around here lately. Today was in the 60s and we had thunderstorms. They started this morning just after I got to the Y to swim. I got all ready to go out to the pool when all the older women who swim during that time came trucking back in telling me that they closed the INDOOR pool because of the storm (yeah....who does that?). I stood around the locker room being sad and wondering if I should wait it out or not. I decided not to but thought I could get a shower in while I was there anyway. I started gathering my various soaps when out popped one of the regulars from her shower telling me all about how they have to wait 20 minutes from the time of the first lightening strike to bla bla bla I have no idea what she was saying because she was standing there completely naked talking at me. This was probably the first time in my life I wished my vision was worse. She then grabbed her towel and I inwardly thanked my lucky stars that she was robing herself. WRONG. WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?! Oh. She toweled. She toweled everything. Everything except her......bosoms....her saggy, saggy bosoms. WHO DOES THAT?! Then she decided that we needed to keep talking about the pool being closed at a close range. I just kept nodding my head and then was able to slink into a shower.

I realize that this happens a lot. Older people don't care, apparently, who sees their bodies. I do not understand this and I will not be this way when I am older. If by some strange happening I have the urge to wear my birthday suit around the locker room I will not because I will remember how AWKWARD it felt being an unfortunate bystander in that situation.

It was like we were playing chicken. Or something.

I lost.

Let the healing commence.


  1. so funny! though...
    i kept waiting for the word brazilian to come up.... i'm still waiting.... ;)

  2. Let's just say there was a general lack of hair down there. I couldn't bring myself to post it.