Things I have realized/learned today:
1) If your thighs don't naturally touch when you walk you will look awkward on an elliptical. QED.
2) If you really want to know about the area school systems, hang out in the locker room at the Y for a while. And eavesdrop. I never do this because eavesdropping is rude (read: I always do this even though eavesdropping is rude).
3) Whoever gets on a weight machine after me without adjusting the settings probably feels like a teeny oompa-loompa. Unless they are also large in stature.
4) The older gentleman at the Y who chats with me every morning is actually hitting on me. I will inwardly cringe when he calls me "sweetheart" and stares inappropriately at me henceforward.
5) I still have a lot to learn about being a woman. I would like to thank the gaggle of women in their 50s on exercise bikes discussing their mammograms and menopause today. I SWEAR I WASN'T EAVESDROPPING THIS TIME. I guess hearing fades with the ability to bear children because they were basically yelling about their sore boobs to the entire gym.
Thank you, life, for these lessons.