Friday, May 13, 2011

On why Sarah Palin is the only person I could crush in a political debate

I don’t really enjoy talking politics. I enjoy watching other people talk politics but I have a word vomit issue when someone wants to engage in these types of debates with me. It’s embarrassing so I really just like to keep. my mouth. shut. I don’t study up on/enjoy reading about super detailed political wah wah wah on a daily basis (although I will study up when there is voting to be done), I just like to know what’s going on generally. I guess you can lump me with mass of ‘Mericans that have a couple issues about which they feel strongly but don’t have an opinion about everything.

So really, I am doing you a solid by not fully engaging you in your attempts to sway my political opinions in a 3 minute conversation (because LBH, guys. That’s what you’re trying to do. ) Otherwise, you would end the conversation with a lower IQ and a hankering to learn French because you are sure I would have made more sense if you spoke French.

Here’s an example of my political brain. I was listening to NPR yesterday while they were talking about the upcoming 2012 presidential race. My thoughts were as follows.

I wonder if Obama, or any first-term President, gets upset at his presidency being upstaged by the speculation and campaigning for the next presidential race. I know I would. I would slam doors and scowl at people and scream at my chief of staff that he was ruining my life.

Is that….? Does he…..? Does this political correspondent have a lateral lisp? He totally does! And I can’t take him seriously because of it! I’m pretty sure that makes me a horrible person….

Newt Gingrich is running? Does he realize that he won’t get elected because his first name is ‘Newt’? Who names their son Newt? Probably the same type of people that name their son Jimmer….

At least I don’t feel the need to word vomit about politics all over national television (see: The View).


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