Monday, May 23, 2011

Wherein I profess my love for Costco and Costco replies, "it's about freaking time"

I think I have a mental issue. I kind of maybe possibly become emotionally attached to the personality of stores where I shop and feel like I have relationships with them (remember IKEA?). "But Tiffany, stores don't have personalities." To you, I say, whatevs. Stores totes have personalities and I will tell you about them.

Walmart? Walmart is annoying, trashy, full of junk and enables America's ridiculous eating and dressing habits (not that I feel strongly about this topic). Walmart IS Mountain Dew and cigarettes with dark roots growing in. Occasionally you thank Walmart for having the lowest price on the glider you want for your babe's nursery but then it turns out that the glider kind of sucks and you end up cursing them in the end anyway.

Target? Target was cool before Target knew it was cool. Target is a little too much on the red but overall hip, chic, and like an old friend you always enjoy but with whom you maybe spend too much money. For me, Target is actually an old friend I enjoy because I walked her aisles many-a-time right after I had Ava and just wanted to go somewhere by myself.

Meijer? Meijer is the original Super Walmart but with a soul and quality food and great shoppers and basically Meijer is Walmart's older, cooler cousin who's in college. And they also have an abfab gluten free section so we're pretty much besties.

And here we have my real crush of a store - Costco. The co of cost. My love for Costco has been restrained because I ALWAYS spend too much money there buying things that aren't. on. the list. and I leave feeling a smidge violated.

until today.

Today I conquered Costco's smolder and only bought the things on my list. Huzzah! and cheerio! and throw in an 'ello gov'na! So now I can TOTES love on Costco like I have always wanted. Costco is super hip, delicious, and always full of surprises. It also helps that I hit it right at "event time" (i.e. taste testing time) and indulged in some delish chocolate ice cream, sweet potato fries, and dark chocolate covered blueberries.

Guys, I love Costco and I don't care who knows it.

Just don't buy the condiments. You'll never get through them. And if you do get through a jar of mayo THAT BIG, you're going to feel super fat.


  1. ahahahahahahaha. i love this. you are right on, sister. i totes love costco too. and target. but i have no idea what meijer is???

  2. Oh Jana. You don't know Meijer because you're a Cali girl. I can't think of an equivalent out west...

  3. My first experience with Meijer is needing to purchase some "girl" items and when I finally found them, they were across the aisle from the string cheese. Seriously, who set this store up. A Man? So yes, Meijer is a step up from Walmart, but one must remember that he got into college, took two P.E. classes, failed weightlifting and promptly quit. But the fam is still super proud that at least someone got into college!

    Also, we just finished a Costco sized Mayo... Thanks for the fat comment. Jerk. (So we like artichokes? Dude.)

    Love and Kisses.